I took 2016 to court.

EVERYONE IN THE WORLD,         )	NO. 5:03-FU-20-16
	PLAINTIFF, 		)
 				)  
	VS.  			)	BUTTOCKS, TEXAS
				)	
2016,	                        )	
	DEFENDANT.	  	)	DECEMBER 31, 2016
 
 
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EXCERPT FROM SENTENCING HEARING 
BEFORE THE HONORABLE SHELBY CUMMINGS (AROUND THE MOUNTAIN), 
UNITED STATES DISTRICT JUDGE 
 
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OFFICIAL COURT REPORTER: TRUMP SUX DICKENSON, 666 GIMMEABREAK AVENUE,  
BUTTOCKS, TEXAS 79401; (806) 734-7667.  
			
PROCEEDINGS RECORDED BY MECHANICAL STENOGRAPHY, TRANSCRIPT 
PRODUCED BY COMPUTER.  

* * * * *

	(HEARING CONTINUED AFTER A LUNCH RECESS)
		THE COURT:  All right.  2016, if you would 
please come around here and stand at the lectern with your 
attorney.
		2016, you have the right to address the court 
this afternoon prior to the imposition of sentence.  You are 
not required to say anything, should that be your choice, but 
the law does afford you that right and opportunity.  Is there 
anything which you wish to state to the court this afternoon?  
 		THE DEFENDANT:  Yes, Your Honor.
		THE COURT:  All right, sir.
 		THE DEFENDANT:  Your Honor, I humbly ask that you 
sentence me to life in prison and not the death sentence.  I don't 
want to die. Your Honor, I'm deeply sorry this whole year has 
happened.  I never imagined that my research on plague 
treatment would lead to a criminal procedure and trial. At no time did I 
intend to break hearts or kill beloved celebrities. Nor did I know that 
my duration would breed the election of Donald Trump, and 
so many other disgraces to my family's name, "Common Era."
This investigation has been painful to me and my family. My reputation is 
destroyed. I lost my tenured job. I've heard the verdict of the jury, 
but I'm not here to discuss or argue that today.
I promise 2016 won't happen again, won't you please be lenient? 
Thank you.
		THE COURT:  All right, 2016.  You were found guilty 
pursuant to a jury verdict for everything shitty that happened this year:
The deaths of David Bowie, Alan Rickman, Prince, Muhammad Ali, Gene Wilder,
Leonard Cohen, Carrie Fisher. As well as many other Counts, including the
foremost offense, the election of Donald Trump.
	Having adjudged you guilty, I am now going to impose 
the following sentence:  


Court will stand adjourned. (END OF HEARING) * * * * * I certify that the foregoing is a fake transcript from the record of proceedings in the above-entitled matter. I further certify that the transcript fees and format do not comply with those prescribed by the Court and the Judicial Conference of the United States. ___________________________ DATE DECEMBER 31, 2016 Trump Sux Dickenson Official Fake Court Reporter